Last night, Ruby Rose was hosting the MTV Europe Music Awards and began her introduction with “ladies, gentleman, and everyone in-between” encouraging acceptance of gender fluid individuals.
Reading this quote this morning made my heart smile. I have written a lot lately about how I am constantly thinking about and reflecting on my own gender. I have never felt completely a woman, but I also do not feel that I am a man either. This can get confusing in a society that is very much gender driven. Pretty much every thing you can encounter in a day puts you in a category of either a man or a woman. Things such as our clothing, which bathroom to use, how you keep your hair cut, and filling out any type of form about yourself; our gender is constantly being asked about, recorded and helps to put us in specific blue and pink boxes. Even the smallest of comments at work when I am referred to being apart of “the ladies” can make me cringe. I don’t want to be called a gentleman either, but “lady” never seems to fit right.
I had never heard of Ruby Rose prior to her debut on Orange is the New Black, but I am forever grateful that I finally did become introduced to her. She has helped me to really think about how it’s okay to be gender fluid; that I don’t need to feel one gender versus the other. I was blown away how she visualized this concept in her Break Free video.
Then today, I read the following quote from her:
“For the most part, I definitely don’t identify as any gender. I’m not a guy; I don’t really feel like a woman, but obviously I was born one. So, I’m somewhere in the middle, which – in my perfect imagination – is like having the best of both sexes.”
When I read this, I felt she took the words right out of my mouth. I have thought a lot about transitioning and if that is something that I want to do. I always come back to the fact that I don’t want to be a man, not fully anyway. While I applaud many of my friends, colleagues and idols for transitioning, I know I am not meant to be a man. On the other hand, I have never really associated with being a woman either. As I have gotten older, the idea that I am gender fluid has only been made more clear to me, I am neither completely a woman, or a man, but somewhere in the middle.
I think it is great that we have role models like Ruby Rose in our spotlight today. If I had had someone like Ruby Rose to look up to, I know that I wouldn’t have felt so alone when it came to my sexual and gender identity.
Who helps you feel not so alone when it comes to your own identity?