Fitting into a Masculine World

Recently, I wrote about my hair style and how I finally have one that makes me feel completely comfortable.  So before the #BestDayOfMyLife #SoFar, I went to get my hair cut as it had grown out longer than I like.  Plus I needed to look FRESH TO DEATH for the big day. I made an appointment with the guy I finally found after searching for someone for over a year and was happy with.  However, I got a phone call in the morning saying he wouldn’t be able to come in and they asked if I wanted to reschedule.  That wasn’t a super big problem for me being that it was Thursday and I had some time before Saturday so I asked if he would be available on Friday.  Then the lady on the phone said “Well actually his wife is in the hospital having a baby and we are really not sure when he’s going to be in.”

Alrighty then!  I obviously think that his family is way more important than giving me an awesome haircut for one of the biggest days of my life. However, I was disappointed as I was looking forward to having a fresh line-up.  I told her I would call back tomorrow to see if he was in but I felt that it was rude to keep calling every day to say “Hey buddy- you back to work yet?”  On the other hand, I finally found someone I was comfortable with and I hate trying new people with my hair.  Total dilemma in my mind.  You can say I am picky in this area as I had the same lady cut my hair for over 10 years prior to getting my hair cut short.

My girlfriend (at the time, now fiancée!) suggested that I go to one of the Barber Shops I looked up prior to finding my guy. Little did she know why this particular hair cut was so important. I decided to go to the one that is listed best in Milford.  From the outside I could tell it was a very old school Barber Shop.  From the Yelp! reviews, it said the guy that owns it has been cutting hair for over 45 years.  As a more masculine woman, I knew it may be confusing as to why I was walking into a Barber Shop to a guy that has been cutting hair for almost double as long as I have been alive. You may see why I was a little apprehensive to go there but I went anyway.

I walked in and prior to walking in there was a girl outside that totally grilled me.  Her look was “What are you doing here?”  Awesome.  Then when I walked in and the owner was standing there with the same type of look… “How can I help you?”  I was wearing a hat so I immediately took it off and said I was hoping to get my hair cut.  His immediate response? “I’ve never cut a woman’s hair before.”  Okay guy, I get that, but in my head I was thinking, my hair is clearly cut like a “man”, does it really matter what is under my clothes?  I told him I wanted the sides buzzed, some off the top and then a defining line on the left and offered to show a picture.  He agreed to look, but said I probably should go to his other guy who was busy at the moment with another customer.  Once I showed him how I wanted my hair, he said “Yes, you should go to him.”

How did this make me feel?  It made me feel more awkward when I already felt I was in a place I don’t automatically belong.  I appreciated him saying he couldn’t do the type of haircut I was looking for if it is not his forte, but it still felt awkward.  I could tell he didn’t see a reason why I was in his shop.  But I sat down like a human being and waited for a guy named Eddie.   When Eddie was ready for me, I told him what I wanted.  He said cool and treated me like any customer.  He was cute and asked if it was my first time here.  I think he could tell there had been some awkwardness.  But he gave me a great hair cut.  It was exactly what I was looking for.  He even used the old school barber razor to get the lines just right.  After an uncomfortable experience in the beginning, he made me feel completely comfortable.

I have to say because of Eddie, I will go back to this Barber Shop.  At least now they will know why I am there when I walk in.  This experience is just one of many that I have had as a lesbian who likes to dress in men’s clothing and have my hair short.  I should have been able to walk into that Barber Shop and have nobody look any differently.  I was a customer and I wanted a nice haircut.  Luckily for me, I still got a good one despite the anxiety and awkwardness.

I know that there are many others like me, and wanted to let you know that you are not alone.

old school barber razors


2 thoughts on “Fitting into a Masculine World

  1. Julia J-S says:

    You are wonderful, and beautiful. Keep telling your stories and making a ruckus my dear friend!

    Julia Jornsay-Silverberg email: mobile: 516.376.6597 *Let’s stay connected via social!* Find me on Twitter , Facebook , LinkedIn , Instagram and WordPress !


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